Christ in the Chaos: A Review

I remember growing up, painting or drawing a piece of art would be a common thing for me to do. When I was close to finishing up the piece, I would show my parents the almost-finished product for their opinion. To them, these pieces of art were beautiful. To me, there was always imperfections and room for improvement. I was critical and always very hard on myself as an artist. I remember my mom telling me that "You are your worst critic." Oh how true it is! 

In reading Christ in the Chaos, I have had the opportunity to examine my heart, especially in regards to the motives of my heart.  My motives seem to be driven from high expectations from myself and false (or perhaps nonexistent) expectations from others.  I will never meet these expectations.  I will always find myself lacking.

No matter how I may see myself lacking---a canvas painted with many imperfections and mistakes---God sees me as a perfect masterpiece because He sees Christ. You see, I can continue to try to improve and cover up my bad brush strokes and blemishes. I will. It's in my nature. I can continue to care about what other people think and seek their approval. That, too, comes very natural. Even as I write this post, my sinful heart seeks your approval and many views from my followers---all 14 of them. But, those things don't matter. All God sees is Christ! Not my imperfect paintings or my blog posts seeking approval! Oh, and for that, I am so very thankful! That drives me to obedience. I pray that The Lord continues to work in my heart and that I would more often look to Christ and not to what others think of me. 

 Now, I have a confession to make.  Christ in the Chaos is the first book written to women (but not only for women) that I have finished since I became a mother.  I started plenty, but I was never motivated to finish them because they showed me my weakness (the weakness I already very well knew of!) and didn't show me Christ.  Yes, they showed me passages in Titus or Ephesians or Proverbs which are great reminders of how I am to act as a woman.  But I always would become discouraged because I could not live up to those expectations.  I always mess up.  Always.  This was the first book that not only assured me that would happen, but pointed me to Christ in that he has already done all the work for me.  Now, I need to clarify that this doesn't make me lazy.  Quite the opposite.  This amazing outpouring of God's grace drives me to repentance and obedience.  In fact, that grace is the same grace that sort of "smacks the sense" into me with I go on a sinful rant when something (or many things) don't go the way I think they should.  Kimm points that out several times in this book.  And it is true!  It's truly extraordinary what God's grace can do!

One of my favorite passages from Christ in the Chaos is as follows: 

"Mothering has taught me how very weak I really am, and that is a hard, hard truth to accept.  But by living in my weakness, I see more and more how powerful God really is.  I come to understand that his power is shown to be perfect through my weakness and failures."  

Oh!  How I relate to how mothering has truly shown me my extreme frailty as a human being!  What comfort to know that especially in our weakness, God is showing His power!

Summing up the same chapter, Kimm writes, "Let me encourage you to take off the "strong mother" mask and embrace your weakness.  Stop hiding the very inadequacy God wants to use to display the gospel.  Believe his grace is sufficient.  Allow his power to be made perfect in you and then boast!  Boast all the more gladly so the power of Christ may rest upon you.  In your weakness, you will be made strong."

One of the chapters in Christ in the Chaos addresses the "Masks" that we put on in order to "fake it" so that we may get the approval, acceptance, and love of others.  I am constantly, in the deepest, darkest center of my soul, comparing myself to everyone around me.  Whether it be the mother at church who has more kids than me and somehow seems to be holding it together very well, or the mother who home-schools with several little ones with what looks like ease, or the mother who manages to find time to weight lift and compete and has more muscles than I would ever know what to do with.  I am constantly seeking the approval of my own self.  My "self" tells me that I need to have the kitchen sparkling everyday, that my kids don't need to watch any TV (Ha!), that I need to workout six days a week, and that I can never show any weakness to my kids, my husband, or my peers.  I have to constantly battle this.  Kimm shares that she does too.  That makes this book different than all the rest that I ~ahem~ started to read.  She says that these things will always be a struggle, but to run to Christ---to remember (Christ's work on the cross and how it relates to YOU daily), to repent (daily of those sins and desires to do it on your own) and to rest (in knowing that Christ has FINISHED the work for you.  He has paid it all.  We owe nothing.) REST!  What a truly freeing concept!  

Here is where I am going to say that if you have not read this book, READ IT.  It is only $9.99 in paper form and $5.99 in Kindle form.  I knew Kimm before reading this book, but even if I hadn't, I would feel as if she is one of my dear and closest friends after reading this book.  She is the first woman who has said to me, "You will fail. And when you do, run to Christ.  Rest in Him." I appreciate that honesty so very much.  And for that reason, as Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables) would put it, I feel as though the author of this book and I are "Kindred Spirits."  I know she has gone through (nearly in earthly terms) hell and back as a mother.  I know she understands me and my weakness.  I know she prayed that it would effect me and everyone else who ate up the words from cover to cover.  I am so very thankful that God has used her life ---from the seemingly bottomless pit of despair she was in to the completely freeing Grace of God that she has come to know as a mother--- to speak to women who really, really needed to hear how the Gospel changes motherhood.  Thank you, Kimm, for the love, effort, prayer, and hours you poured into this book. 

Christ in the Chaos: What Sweet Truth!!!

I just received Christ in the Chaos by Kimm Crandall in the mail a few days ago.  For two days in a row, I got some much needed (and very rare) quiet time while my two youngest napped.  So, I took a break from my chaos---from my kitchen counter stacked with dishes, from my living room with couch pillows strewn about, from the laundry in the washer waiting to be transferred to the dryer before it gets sour, from the already wrinkled clothes needed to be folded in the dryer, and read the first two chapters of this book.  As I sat down and started to read the forward by Elyse Fitzpatrick, my two cats got into a fight in the kitchen and the patio umbrella fell down from a gust of wind outside.  I silently laughed.

I had a good idea of what the first chapter would be about.   I met Kimm about eight years ago through my husband, who is an old friend of Kimm and her husband, Justin.  Several years ago, I remember sitting at Kimm's table and her telling my husband and I that she came to the conclusion that see wasn't a Believer---that she was trying earn her favor with God and that she was working through those things.  She believed that she had been saved since then.  I saw the changes in her shortly after I became a mother.  Instead of conversations on homeschooling or how to make your own sour cream, I started to enjoy long, late-night Gospel-centered conversations with her when her family slept over at our house.  I value her candidness and honesty as a fellow mother.  I even breathed a big sigh of relief when she told me she used paper plates all the time, just like I did.  Her willingness to "rest" in the Christ and the Gospel has been such an blessing and an example to me.  I am so thankful that she encouraged me to steer clear of those "dress-wearing, child-bearing, homeschooling, bread-baking, perfect-living" blogs that I naturally had an interest in (not that there is anything wrong with those things themselves, but you know what I mean).  With that said, reading chapter one of Christ in the Chaos still brought me to tears.  I struggle with focusing on Christ's faithfulness to me.  I struggle with beating myself up if I don't get my bed made in the morning, or if Jackson is late for school, or if I drop 3 dollars worth of Greek yogurt on the floor, or forget to buy the butter (all of which happened yesterday).  I must admit, those things, at the moment, seem tragic to me.  My sinfulness creeps into my heart and mind and the truth I know---that Christ is faithful, even with all my shortcomings, HE IS FAITHFUL---becomes harder to grasp in those moments.  It is in hindsight, perhaps moments later, or hours later, that I realize His faithfulness despite my imperfections, and the chaos, once again, becomes strangely dim.

At the end of each chapter, Kimm has a few questions for the reader entitled "Getting Real."  Here are my answers:

Chapter One
1)  A summary of my testimony:  I was very young when death and mortality became a reality.  I saw a man drop from a heart attack right in front of me.  My mom was in and out of the hospital with severe, sometimes deadly illnesses.  My friends were murdered at a very, very young age.  My dad was diagnosed with Melanoma.  Not only that, I saw that I couldn't depend or rely on the material things of this world.  [Parent's] Jobs are lost.  Houses are lost.  This all happened before or around the age of ten.  Sometime in the mix of those trials, I was saved.  I had said The Prayer at five, but I surely didn't understand the Gospel then.  It was when I realized that everything was out of my (and my parents') control, when I realized that the things I relied on the most wouldn't always be there, when certainty became uncertain, that Christ showed me his faithfulness, despite my sinfulness and my undeserving of favor.   I, too, like Kimm, rededicated myself many times to God, but I remember realizing that just because I still sinned, didn't mean I was no longer a Christian, or had fallen any farther from God's favor.
2)  What do you think makes someone a "Good Christian?"  Why?  What makes someone a "Good Christian" is absolutely nothing.  I can do nothing to become a "good Christian."  God does His work in me.  He changes my heart.  His son, Jesus, covered me and all my impurities so I am spotless and blameless to him.  What a sweet relief!  I'm not saying that I don't struggle with trying to be good, or patting myself on the back when I do something that would look good to others.  It is a struggle to remember these truths in the midst of sin!
3)  What do you find yourself putting your faith in today?  Does the hope you have in your parenting, marriage, or ministry override your hope in the finished work of Christ?  What does it really mean to "rest" in Christ?  I find myself putting my faith in myself and my abilities (or lack thereof) to clean house, cook, and take care of my family in a way that pleases others.  This is a struggle of mine.  Christ always seems to reel me back in to the reality that none of that matters and that I need to "rest" in him.  But, sometimes, that may be after my sin has gotten the best of me and I've wallowed in my frustration, anger, or resentment for a few hours.  Resting in him to  me, looks like this:  Instead of running around all day cleaning, cooking, washing, and tirelessly taking care of kids, then, then throughout the day, throwing up prayers to God in tough moments, "Oh! Lord, please help me!", not expecting, or having faith in the how much I complete in a day.  Resting in Christ means knowing that it doesn't matter if I get the laundry washed, the dishes loaded, or the kids bathed.  Although I will continue to try and do those things in order for my family to function, I have the comfort to know that no matter what shortcomings I have, Christ will always be faithful, and he is my portion.  As 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
4)  What assures you of your salvation?  Are you afraid that if your commitment to God waivers, then he will drop his commitment to you?  What does 2 Tim 2:13 tell us about God's faithfulness?  I am so very thankful that my salvation does not depend on anything I can do.  It is a gift.  I often cling to Ephesians 2:8-9 in regards to salvation.  "For by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."  There is nothing I can do to earn my salvation, and there is nothing I can do for it to be taken away.  2 Timothy 2:13 is a wonderful reminder that no matter how much we screw things up or don't accomplish what we think we should have accomplished, no matter what, He is still faithful.  What a relief, isn't it?

I have completed the first two chapters of Christ in the Chaos, and there are so many sweet truths that God is using Kimm to remind me of.  I look forward to reading chapter 3 today!

PS:  If you are a mother, I would recommend this book, even though I've only read the first chapters.  That is how good they were.  So, buy the book here:  http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Christ+in+the+Chaos

Day 28: Family Valentine's Dinner

Last year, we started the tradition of having a family Valentine's Day dinner at home with our kids on Valentine's Day.  We never enjoyed going out because every place is so crowded and would much rather enjoy a date when everyone and their wife, girlfriend, or grandmother was out.  Also, this tradition is so fun!  Our kids have a blast and so do we.  It is a lot of preparation, but is so much better than going out!

I applied many pins this year.  The nice thing about Pinterest is there are people who pay close attention to detail.  Printable, free Valentines are available through Pinterest that can make those special details, like having homemade Valentines with your children's' favorite characters on them, so much easier to find and use!  (Click here for a bunch of free Valentine's Day Printables!)

For this card, I found the free chevron stripe printable HERE and the date to date calculator for date HERE.  The fact that you could have that calculated in seconds is amazing!

An idea I came across on Pinterest was to have heart themed pizzas.  How fun is that?  And how perfect for the kids!  I purchase the Bob's Red Mill gluten free pizza crust at Big Lots for a decent price.  The bag says to divide the batch into two balls, but I decided them into several balls, just big enough to roll out into a six inch circle so I could use a large cookie cutter to shape the dough.  Instead of baking the dough with the toppings on it for 15-18 minutes, as directed on the package, I baked it for 10.  The pizzas were smaller, so that was perfect.

To make the pepperoni (which is nitrate-free from Fresh & Easy) heart-shaped, fold the pepperoni in half, just like you would to make a paper heart, and cut out half of a heart from fold.  Unfold and you have a heart and a pepperoni with a heart-shaped hole.  Cute, huh?

Next, to make the salad special, I made the carrots heart shaped.  When I saw this on Pinterest, I HAD to do it  The hardest part was cutting the slit in the middle of the carrot.  After that, I just peeled the carrot to shape it.  Overall, it was pretty easy and added such a great detail!  Madelyn loved eating the carrot hearts!

And, of course, we ate by candlelight.  :)

After dinner, we played a few rounds of balloon volleyball, Valentine's Day Edition (the red balloon!).  Jackson said he wanted to play this every night.  I have to admit, it was so much fun!  (Again, this idea was from Pinterest.)

To set this balloon volleyball up, fold a twin sized sheet in half lengthwise, drape over  two chairs so it forms the "net."  Then tie the ends of the sheet to the leg of the each chair.  Be sure to blow up the balloon to a somewhat small size, so it is less likely to pop.

After volleyball, we finished the night off with brownies!

A bonus I didn't expect...my hubby gifted me Elyse Fitzpatrick's new devotion, a much needed and very pretty apron, and Thin Mints.  Yea!!!  

Pinterest was a nice addition to our family Valentine's Day tradition.  I'm happy I added those little details, and enjoyed the fact that the kids liked them too!

Day 12: Speed Cleaning 101

Most days, my house is a mess.  In fact, the days that my house is clean are very special because they are so rare.  I don't mind cleaning, but I do it all day long, it seems.  There usually is no rhyme or reason to it.  I start to clean up a mess, then as I'm cleaning up that mess, three more messes are made.  Troy's friend once said to him that cleaning a house with kids is like shoveling snow in a snow storm.  How true that is!

When the house gets unbearably messy, I like to have a plan to tackle the house, or at least the cleaning of the front rooms.  It helps me focus.  I've tried many quick house clean "plans," over the last few months, but the one that works for me every time is the one over at somewhatsimple.com.  It is called "Speed Cleaning 101."  The idea is you have ten steps, some of which you repeat, and do each step in ten minute increments, with a break every thirty minutes.  I don't know about you, but I love racing against the clock.  It makes a mundane task such as washing dishes a little more interesting.  A little.

More importantly to me, the "Speed Cleaning 101" method really makes the HUGE mess that my house is a bit less overwhelming.  I can do it if I take one step at a time.  And, if I have to change a diaper, get a sippy cup, or break up a fight in between those ten minute increments, I can do just that.  You will be surprised how much you can do in just ten minutes!  My messy living room (pictured above), complete with Trader Joe's O's sprinkled from wall to wall, sippy cups from the morning, pajamas, books, toys, a pink tricycle, and much, much more took ten minutes of speed cleaning to get it looking clean.  Of course, this didn't include dusting.  I guess that's for another day!

You will find all of the cleaning speed methods/plans I have tried on my 30 Days of Pinterest board, so feel free to take a gander!  Happy cleaning!

Day 6: Fridge Snack Box

My kids ask for snacks all day long. All. Day. Long. So, when I came across this idea on Pinterest, it stood out amount the eight hundred plus pins I have pinned. I took a box I got last year in the Target dollar section and filled it with baggies of carrot and celery sticks, fresh fruit, yogurt sticks, and string cheese. I put it on the bottom shelf of the fridge so the kids can have access to it. Jackson LOVES the idea of being able to get snacks for himself. I love the idea of him serving himself to healthy snacks! I also can grab things from this box to put in Troy's lunch and eat the snacks myself as well! I hope to add a few quartered peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for Owen and some pre-measured cups of Greek yogurt. Healthy snacks for everyone! All around, it's a win-win situation!

Day 5: Dosage Chart on Child's Medication Bottle

The chart is sloppy, but you get the idea!  Useful, indeed!

This is one of those things that I think, why haven't I thought of that?!? My little Owen is sick with an ear and throat/tonsil infection. We picked up medication for him yesterday and so I decided to apply a tip I learned from Pinterest. Instead of trying to remember or guess how many doses your child has taken, you can draw a chart right on the bottle. In my case, I drew a horizontal chart, ten across for the ten days Owen is supposed to take the medication, and three down for the number of doses he takes a day. Handy, isn't it? I'm 100% sure this will help me in the task of keeping track of doses. I'm so glad I came across this pin!

He takes medicine like a little bird.  :)

The 11pm Pooper

It was about 11pm last night and we had just finished watching an episode of Dowton Abbey. Troy went to go check on Owen because he had been running a high fever hours earlier. He then called me into the hall almost crying and laughing at the same time. There, at the end of our hallway, was Owen. He was asleep, sitting up, like a drunken solder with his sippy cup laying beside him. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It was terribly sad, under the circumstances, but at the same time, looked extremely funny! I then scooped him up in my arms to discover that he had a pooper diaper. He had come into the hall to squat in the corner and do his business. He was silent about it, as he tries so very hard to be, so we didn't hear him. He must of fallen asleep right after finishing up. Sweet little Owen. That is a story I want to remember. I regret not taking a photo!

Baby Led Weaning

At just 5 months of age, in an attempt to get Owen to sleep more than an hour and a half at a time, I started feeding him pureed food.  He had shown interest in eating and we, quite honestly, needed sleep.  Badly.  To my frustration, and Owen's, when I tried to feed Owen the pureed food, I could never feed him fast enough, and he would want to shovel it in himself.   I would end up dreading feeding him because of the mess it would make and the fuss he would make when his *large* bowl of pureed sweet potato/brown rice slop was gone.  Have you ever tried to clean dried sweet potato puree off of a high chair leg?  I then remembered that my sister in law, Robyn, did something called Baby Led Weaning with her daughter and it seemed to have worked out pretty well.  The first chance I got, I asked Robyn more details about Baby Led Weaning (BLW).  She gave me some pointers and I started Owen on BLW the next meal!


In case you were wondering, Baby Led Weaning is when you forgo the traditional pureed baby foods and exclusively let your baby feed themselves finger foods.  When I first heard of this approach, I thought, "What?!?!  Won't they choke?!?"  But, as I observed my niece's eating habits, I realized that as long as you keep an eye on your child as he or she eats, it is highly unlikely your child will choke.  Basically, the finger foods you give them at first are soft and "gum-able."  I was very surprised with the variety of foods Owen can chew with his gums!  He is a few days away from 9 months and still has doesn't have any teeth, yet he eats everything from broccoli to beans to turkey and everything in between.  Not only does he like a variety of foods, he eats more than I have ever seen any other baby eat!  I've introduced him to so much more than I did with my two other children who were on pureed food.  I am starting to see that Owen is not picky about what he eats, and my guess is that this is because he has been given the opportunity to try so many different types of food.  His favorite foods are broccoli and blueberries.  I don't know many 9-month olds who LOVE broccoli!  


Along with the convenience of BLW, i.e., letting your infant feed his/herself, there are heath benefits, as shown in a recent study.  A study published in the BMJ Open compared a group of infants who followed the BLW approach to feeding with the infants fed with the traditional pureed food.  The study showed that the BLW infants seemed to like carbohydrates more than sweets, and that the pureed-fed infants seemed to like sweets more.  The study also noted that the Body Mass Index (BMI) of the BLW infants was lower than the pureed-fed infants at the end of the weaning period.  (Find a summary of the study here.)  The website www.babyledweaning.com, recently requested a statement from one of the doctors that participated in the study and she was kind enough to comply.  Dr. Ellen Townsend summarized the study as follows:

“We conducted a survey-based study with parents. Some of whom had used traditional spoon feeding and some who had used a baby-led approach. We asked them about their child’s food likes and how often they ate 151 different foods.

We then compared the groups on their liking for foods in the major food categories (carbs, proteins etc). What we found was that children weaned using a BLW approach like carbohydrates more than the spoon fed children. (In fact they liked carbohydrates the most as compared to the spoon fed children who like sweet foods the most.)

This is interesting because carbohydrates form the building blocks of healthy nutrition (being found at the bottom of the food pyramid). We also looked at health outcomes and found that BLW children generally had lower BMI compared to spoon-fed children. There was a small incidence of underweight in the BLW group but a larger incidence of obesity in the spoon fed group.

Carbohydrates are an ideal first finger food – so what we may be seeing here is an ‘age on introduction effect’ where BLW children are exposed to these foods in their whole food format earlier on. In relation to the BMI findings it could be that BLW learn to self regulate their intake because they are given control of the feeding process. We need longitudinal studies now that can tease apart our findings further.” (www.babyledweaning.com)

I actually saw a brief news segment on this study before I looked it up online.  I was glad to see Baby Led Weaning go a bit more public.  Owen and my niece are the only children I know who did BLW. Owen thoroughly enjoys mealtime because it is fun for him.  On top of three very full meals a day, Owen still nurses every 3-4 hours during the day.  He is also the healthiest of all my children at this age in regards to bowel movement.  My first two children would regularly have problems with constipation.  Let's just say that Owen is very, very, very regular!  As for sleeping longer, he is just starting to 

regularly sleep decently and he only wakes up once to feed between 3:30 and 5am.

I would absolutely recommend the Baby Led Weaning approach to any parent!  Not only is my child a healthy eater, but my bank account isn't feeling constrained by large purchases of "jarred" baby food and my time isn't being consumed with making the purees myself.  Owen basically eats what we eat at every meal.  And he is happy with that.  Everyone wins!  

If you would like more information on the Baby Led Weaning approach, the following sites are excellent resources:

http://wholesomebabyfood.momtastic.com/babyledweaning.htm
http://www.babyledweaning.com/  
http://www.baby-led.com/

A Great Quote to Remember...

 A friend of mine, Kimm, posted this on her Facebook status.  Seriously a freeing qoute.  My efforts will still go on, however, its a great reminder that in the end, God does the work!

"When God calls our children to come to him, even if we haven't gotten it all right, even if we've trained little Pharisees or have a house full of prodigals, nothing is impossible for Him. He can break though all our flawed methods and redeem all our frail efforts." Jessica Thompson/Elyse Fitzpatrick -Give them Grace

Coffee?!?

A 12-year-old neighbor stopped by and played with Jackson in the front yard today. After several minutes of kicking around the soccer ball, chasing each other, and playing baseball, the boy dropped to the ground and laid on the grass. Exausted, he then asked me, "Does Jackson drink coffee?!?" Yes. His question was absolutely serious. I assume he isn't used to 2-year-olds! I laughed and replied, "Nope. He has this much energy all the time!" I wonder if he'll stop by to play again.

Mommy FAIL! -Ketchup-

Sometimes as a mom I do something really silly and I just have to laugh at myself. Otherwise, I'd get mad at myself and that isn't good. Today, I whipped up my kids some Mickey Mouse chicken nuggets only to find the ketchup missing. Everyone knows a toddler can't eat chicken nuggets without ketchup! So, I looked high and low, in the pantry and in the fridge, with no avail. Somehow in the midst of looking, I stuck my hand in my hot cup of tea (ouch!) and splashed it all over my new tank top. After I washed off my shirt and hung it to dry, I gave up and decided to just open a new ketchup bottle. As I grabbed the new bottle, it slipped out of my hand and broke on the kitchen floor! And, guess what? I opened the fridge just after that fiasco and found...yes...the ketchup. Sigh. Now you see why I had to laugh at myself!

Just Mess'n' Aound!

Jackson and Madelyn love each other. This is evident by the way both of their eyes light up when they see each other. Madelyn often stares at her big brother with an awful gaze (awful as in full of awe), and that gaze is usually followed by a big smile and a squeal of uncontainable joy. Jackson just giggles and starts to talk a language that apparently only him and Madelyn understand while making silly gestures to make his sister laugh. One of their favorite things to do is wrestle. Yes. Wrestle. This girl is going to be tough. Although, she does let Jackson know if he has gone too far or gotten too rough! I just love to see them interact. I can honestly say that it is one of the best perks of parenting---seeing your kids enjoy each other!