Mom's Night Out Review

It was kind of strange to see a movie that was pretty much my life.  Before going on a rare date with my hubby to see Mom's Night Out, I called him, panicked.  This is how the conversation went:

ME: The movie starts in 45 minutes!  I haven't showered yet!  Owen just peed on the floor!  Dinner isn't ready!  PLEASE tell me your on your way home!

TROY: No.  I'll be leaving here in about 10 minutes.

ME: (Hitting my forehead on the wall and sighing loudly.) Why do I even try?!?

TROY:  Oh, Love!  Don't give up!  I'll be there soon!

So, if you have seen the movie, doesn't that scene sound familiar???    I would never say that I'm "not happy," as it was stated in Mom's Night Out, but stressed would be a common word I use.  I love being a mommy, homeschooling, etc.  I even enjoy cleaning house and cooking, when I'm not interrupted fifty times before completing a task. It's just hard work.  Work that never, ever, has a break.  Except when you go out on a date, but it seems like it's so hard to let go of that stress even when trying to leave for that date!

The movie was a bit more stressful than I would prefer, but seeing it to the end was worth it.  After all, I never thought that Trace Adkins could make me cry.  (I don't cry much.  Ask my husband.) By the end of the movie, I was reminded more than once that what matters is that I am His.  And even though they didn't go into this detail in the movie (which is fine...it's okay that the Gospel wasn't thrown at me in a movie made by Christians!), I am covered by Christ's grace.  My identity is in Him.  He has covered this mess of mine with His beauty.  I was reminded to stop beating myself up and comparing myself to this view I have of what I should be.  Just do what God created me to do.  Be a mom.  Not a perfect mom.  Just be there.

If you are a mom and haven't seen this movie, I would recommend it!

The Truth About Mother's Day with Kimm Crandall

Last week, I sat down with Kimm Crandall, a friend and author of the book Christ in the Chaos, to get down to the sweetest truth about Mother's Day.  I'm not talking about all the homemade or Hallmark cards, the pot of flowers, pretty necklace, or the breakfast in bed you may receive as a  mother on Mother's Day.  I'm talking about the sweetest, best, biggest gift of all.  Watch the video to learn more!

....and if you want to hear more of that sweet truth, please give Haven Today's radio program a listen.  Kimm Crandall will be on all week!  Today's program is "How the Gospel Changes Mothers."  Visit https://www.haventoday.org to listen.

As I sit down at my kitchen table with my dirty dishes in view, trying to get my wits about me as a recover from a busy weekend, with a long to-do list bouncing throughout my brain, and a toddler in my lap trying to "help" me write this post, I am reminded of the amazing Gospel truths that I need to hear on a daily basis.  It is a constant battle to look to Christ and not my sin.  Thanks, Kimm, for the much needed reminder!

Christ in the Chaos: A Review

I remember growing up, painting or drawing a piece of art would be a common thing for me to do. When I was close to finishing up the piece, I would show my parents the almost-finished product for their opinion. To them, these pieces of art were beautiful. To me, there was always imperfections and room for improvement. I was critical and always very hard on myself as an artist. I remember my mom telling me that "You are your worst critic." Oh how true it is! 

In reading Christ in the Chaos, I have had the opportunity to examine my heart, especially in regards to the motives of my heart.  My motives seem to be driven from high expectations from myself and false (or perhaps nonexistent) expectations from others.  I will never meet these expectations.  I will always find myself lacking.

No matter how I may see myself lacking---a canvas painted with many imperfections and mistakes---God sees me as a perfect masterpiece because He sees Christ. You see, I can continue to try to improve and cover up my bad brush strokes and blemishes. I will. It's in my nature. I can continue to care about what other people think and seek their approval. That, too, comes very natural. Even as I write this post, my sinful heart seeks your approval and many views from my followers---all 14 of them. But, those things don't matter. All God sees is Christ! Not my imperfect paintings or my blog posts seeking approval! Oh, and for that, I am so very thankful! That drives me to obedience. I pray that The Lord continues to work in my heart and that I would more often look to Christ and not to what others think of me. 

 Now, I have a confession to make.  Christ in the Chaos is the first book written to women (but not only for women) that I have finished since I became a mother.  I started plenty, but I was never motivated to finish them because they showed me my weakness (the weakness I already very well knew of!) and didn't show me Christ.  Yes, they showed me passages in Titus or Ephesians or Proverbs which are great reminders of how I am to act as a woman.  But I always would become discouraged because I could not live up to those expectations.  I always mess up.  Always.  This was the first book that not only assured me that would happen, but pointed me to Christ in that he has already done all the work for me.  Now, I need to clarify that this doesn't make me lazy.  Quite the opposite.  This amazing outpouring of God's grace drives me to repentance and obedience.  In fact, that grace is the same grace that sort of "smacks the sense" into me with I go on a sinful rant when something (or many things) don't go the way I think they should.  Kimm points that out several times in this book.  And it is true!  It's truly extraordinary what God's grace can do!

One of my favorite passages from Christ in the Chaos is as follows: 

"Mothering has taught me how very weak I really am, and that is a hard, hard truth to accept.  But by living in my weakness, I see more and more how powerful God really is.  I come to understand that his power is shown to be perfect through my weakness and failures."  

Oh!  How I relate to how mothering has truly shown me my extreme frailty as a human being!  What comfort to know that especially in our weakness, God is showing His power!

Summing up the same chapter, Kimm writes, "Let me encourage you to take off the "strong mother" mask and embrace your weakness.  Stop hiding the very inadequacy God wants to use to display the gospel.  Believe his grace is sufficient.  Allow his power to be made perfect in you and then boast!  Boast all the more gladly so the power of Christ may rest upon you.  In your weakness, you will be made strong."

One of the chapters in Christ in the Chaos addresses the "Masks" that we put on in order to "fake it" so that we may get the approval, acceptance, and love of others.  I am constantly, in the deepest, darkest center of my soul, comparing myself to everyone around me.  Whether it be the mother at church who has more kids than me and somehow seems to be holding it together very well, or the mother who home-schools with several little ones with what looks like ease, or the mother who manages to find time to weight lift and compete and has more muscles than I would ever know what to do with.  I am constantly seeking the approval of my own self.  My "self" tells me that I need to have the kitchen sparkling everyday, that my kids don't need to watch any TV (Ha!), that I need to workout six days a week, and that I can never show any weakness to my kids, my husband, or my peers.  I have to constantly battle this.  Kimm shares that she does too.  That makes this book different than all the rest that I ~ahem~ started to read.  She says that these things will always be a struggle, but to run to Christ---to remember (Christ's work on the cross and how it relates to YOU daily), to repent (daily of those sins and desires to do it on your own) and to rest (in knowing that Christ has FINISHED the work for you.  He has paid it all.  We owe nothing.) REST!  What a truly freeing concept!  

Here is where I am going to say that if you have not read this book, READ IT.  It is only $9.99 in paper form and $5.99 in Kindle form.  I knew Kimm before reading this book, but even if I hadn't, I would feel as if she is one of my dear and closest friends after reading this book.  She is the first woman who has said to me, "You will fail. And when you do, run to Christ.  Rest in Him." I appreciate that honesty so very much.  And for that reason, as Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables) would put it, I feel as though the author of this book and I are "Kindred Spirits."  I know she has gone through (nearly in earthly terms) hell and back as a mother.  I know she understands me and my weakness.  I know she prayed that it would effect me and everyone else who ate up the words from cover to cover.  I am so very thankful that God has used her life ---from the seemingly bottomless pit of despair she was in to the completely freeing Grace of God that she has come to know as a mother--- to speak to women who really, really needed to hear how the Gospel changes motherhood.  Thank you, Kimm, for the love, effort, prayer, and hours you poured into this book. 

Christ in the Chaos: What Sweet Truth!!!

I just received Christ in the Chaos by Kimm Crandall in the mail a few days ago.  For two days in a row, I got some much needed (and very rare) quiet time while my two youngest napped.  So, I took a break from my chaos---from my kitchen counter stacked with dishes, from my living room with couch pillows strewn about, from the laundry in the washer waiting to be transferred to the dryer before it gets sour, from the already wrinkled clothes needed to be folded in the dryer, and read the first two chapters of this book.  As I sat down and started to read the forward by Elyse Fitzpatrick, my two cats got into a fight in the kitchen and the patio umbrella fell down from a gust of wind outside.  I silently laughed.

I had a good idea of what the first chapter would be about.   I met Kimm about eight years ago through my husband, who is an old friend of Kimm and her husband, Justin.  Several years ago, I remember sitting at Kimm's table and her telling my husband and I that she came to the conclusion that see wasn't a Believer---that she was trying earn her favor with God and that she was working through those things.  She believed that she had been saved since then.  I saw the changes in her shortly after I became a mother.  Instead of conversations on homeschooling or how to make your own sour cream, I started to enjoy long, late-night Gospel-centered conversations with her when her family slept over at our house.  I value her candidness and honesty as a fellow mother.  I even breathed a big sigh of relief when she told me she used paper plates all the time, just like I did.  Her willingness to "rest" in the Christ and the Gospel has been such an blessing and an example to me.  I am so thankful that she encouraged me to steer clear of those "dress-wearing, child-bearing, homeschooling, bread-baking, perfect-living" blogs that I naturally had an interest in (not that there is anything wrong with those things themselves, but you know what I mean).  With that said, reading chapter one of Christ in the Chaos still brought me to tears.  I struggle with focusing on Christ's faithfulness to me.  I struggle with beating myself up if I don't get my bed made in the morning, or if Jackson is late for school, or if I drop 3 dollars worth of Greek yogurt on the floor, or forget to buy the butter (all of which happened yesterday).  I must admit, those things, at the moment, seem tragic to me.  My sinfulness creeps into my heart and mind and the truth I know---that Christ is faithful, even with all my shortcomings, HE IS FAITHFUL---becomes harder to grasp in those moments.  It is in hindsight, perhaps moments later, or hours later, that I realize His faithfulness despite my imperfections, and the chaos, once again, becomes strangely dim.

At the end of each chapter, Kimm has a few questions for the reader entitled "Getting Real."  Here are my answers:

Chapter One
1)  A summary of my testimony:  I was very young when death and mortality became a reality.  I saw a man drop from a heart attack right in front of me.  My mom was in and out of the hospital with severe, sometimes deadly illnesses.  My friends were murdered at a very, very young age.  My dad was diagnosed with Melanoma.  Not only that, I saw that I couldn't depend or rely on the material things of this world.  [Parent's] Jobs are lost.  Houses are lost.  This all happened before or around the age of ten.  Sometime in the mix of those trials, I was saved.  I had said The Prayer at five, but I surely didn't understand the Gospel then.  It was when I realized that everything was out of my (and my parents') control, when I realized that the things I relied on the most wouldn't always be there, when certainty became uncertain, that Christ showed me his faithfulness, despite my sinfulness and my undeserving of favor.   I, too, like Kimm, rededicated myself many times to God, but I remember realizing that just because I still sinned, didn't mean I was no longer a Christian, or had fallen any farther from God's favor.
2)  What do you think makes someone a "Good Christian?"  Why?  What makes someone a "Good Christian" is absolutely nothing.  I can do nothing to become a "good Christian."  God does His work in me.  He changes my heart.  His son, Jesus, covered me and all my impurities so I am spotless and blameless to him.  What a sweet relief!  I'm not saying that I don't struggle with trying to be good, or patting myself on the back when I do something that would look good to others.  It is a struggle to remember these truths in the midst of sin!
3)  What do you find yourself putting your faith in today?  Does the hope you have in your parenting, marriage, or ministry override your hope in the finished work of Christ?  What does it really mean to "rest" in Christ?  I find myself putting my faith in myself and my abilities (or lack thereof) to clean house, cook, and take care of my family in a way that pleases others.  This is a struggle of mine.  Christ always seems to reel me back in to the reality that none of that matters and that I need to "rest" in him.  But, sometimes, that may be after my sin has gotten the best of me and I've wallowed in my frustration, anger, or resentment for a few hours.  Resting in him to  me, looks like this:  Instead of running around all day cleaning, cooking, washing, and tirelessly taking care of kids, then, then throughout the day, throwing up prayers to God in tough moments, "Oh! Lord, please help me!", not expecting, or having faith in the how much I complete in a day.  Resting in Christ means knowing that it doesn't matter if I get the laundry washed, the dishes loaded, or the kids bathed.  Although I will continue to try and do those things in order for my family to function, I have the comfort to know that no matter what shortcomings I have, Christ will always be faithful, and he is my portion.  As 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
4)  What assures you of your salvation?  Are you afraid that if your commitment to God waivers, then he will drop his commitment to you?  What does 2 Tim 2:13 tell us about God's faithfulness?  I am so very thankful that my salvation does not depend on anything I can do.  It is a gift.  I often cling to Ephesians 2:8-9 in regards to salvation.  "For by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast."  There is nothing I can do to earn my salvation, and there is nothing I can do for it to be taken away.  2 Timothy 2:13 is a wonderful reminder that no matter how much we screw things up or don't accomplish what we think we should have accomplished, no matter what, He is still faithful.  What a relief, isn't it?

I have completed the first two chapters of Christ in the Chaos, and there are so many sweet truths that God is using Kimm to remind me of.  I look forward to reading chapter 3 today!

PS:  If you are a mother, I would recommend this book, even though I've only read the first chapters.  That is how good they were.  So, buy the book here:  http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Christ+in+the+Chaos

My Kid's Smiles

Thankfulness Day 18
God gives us so much more than we deserve. My kids are so much of a blessing as it is, but every time my kids smile, that little blessing warms my heart. I am overwhelmed with thankfulness for these smiling faces and in awe of the God who made such beautiful, happy smiles!

Dirty Dishes

Say what?!?!  I'm thankful for dirty dishes???  When I woke up this morning, this is what I saw when I walked in the kitchen:

That's right.  I'm "coming clean" about my dirty dishes.  I have to say that this is THE thing that stresses me out.  Waking up to dirty dishes.  Yet, it happens often, no matter how hard I try to keep them out of the sink, they always seem to pile up.  Now, I'm sure you're wondering why I am thankful for these begrimed pieces of plastic and porcelain, especially when they are my arch nemesis of housework.

I am thankful for dirty dishes because it means that my family has filled their bellies with food, shared conversations, laughs and prayers over the kitchen table, and that I have spent time elsewhere, whether that be changing diapers, making paper airplanes, or helping the kids with a craft.

Don't get me wrong.  These dishes will get done.  They always do.  That's not to say that within less than an hour of having every single dish washed and put away, more are put into the sink.  That is exactly why I have to try and keep the mindset of where these dirty dishes come from---from all these little blessings I have running around the house.

With that said, I'd like to leave you with the poem I want to put over my kitchen sink:

It's perfect, isn't it?  Once I get Illustrator installed on my computer, I'll be right on making a colorful version of this for my kitchen!  Happy dish washing, everyone!  :)

My Sweet Kids

Today I am thankful for my kids.  They are all three so different and I love them all so very much!  Jackson is smart and witty and constantly contemplates the world around him. Madelyn is sweet, with a little sour and silly thrown in.  Owen is my happy little cuddle bug who wants so much to be like his brother and sister.  I thank the lord for these three blessings everyday.

Recently, Troy's show interviewed Keith and Kristyn Getty for Haven Today Radio and he brought home their new CD.  The third track on the CD is called A Mother's Prayer.  The lyrics are so precious because they explain exactly what I desire and pray for my children.  In the beginning of the song, I love the words...

"I pray your little frame grows strong
And that faith takes hold when you are young.
This is my prayer for you."

The song continues...

"This world is not as it should be,
But the Savior opens eyes to see
All that's beautiful and True.
Oh may His light fill are you are
And the jewel of wisdom crown your heart,
This is my prayer for you."

And towards the end of the song,

"May my mistakes not hinder you,
But His grace remain and guide you through.
This is my prayer for you."

The song says it all.  I love my kids so much and I want them to know the sweet love of Christ.  I thank God for the opportunity to love my kids by showing them the love of Christ.

24 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 1

It is really hard to start out twenty four days of Thanksgiving.  I mean, I do have a lot to be thankful for, but deciding on what to write about first isn't easy.  The first thing that comes to mind today is my children.  I have to be honest.  This morning started out pretty rocky for them.  For the most part, they slept in, which was a direct result of last night's Reformation Night Event that Troy and I put on at church.  They had so much fun and were out late (due to cleaning up after the event), that despite the efforts of two exhausted parents, they got to bed around 11pm last night.  This morning, the candy won at last night's event was on the kitchen table.  In hindsight, I should have put that away before they got up.  So much for hindsight.  Also on the kitchen table was their breakfast.  I requested that they eat their breakfast before eating any treat.  Normally, I wait until after lunch for all things sugar, but, I thought I would make an exception today.  I left the room for a minute to check on Owen and before I knew it, Jackson and Madelyn both had Tootsie Roll Pops in their mouths and their breakfast still on their plates.  I proceeded to take the suckers away, which was followed by a tantrum from Madelyn and a request by Jackson to go to his room.  Yes.  You read that right.  He asked to be sent to his room.  I had to nurse Owen, so, Madelyn went on crying and Jackson was sent to his room.  Breakfast is still on the table.  And, the candy is now hidden---probably won't reappear for quite some time.

It is a morning like this that I need to remind myself how much these children mean to me.  God has blessed me with them and given me the responsibility to raise them up in a way that glorifies Him.      I am very thankful for that opportunity.  As Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."  I am so very thankful that God has given me these three precious creations of His.  And it is with that thankful heart that I am reminded that I need to give these children grace, just as Christ has given me grace.  As it says in Ephesians 4:32, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."  This doesn't always come easy on mornings like these.  However, when I think of Christ forgiving me, and all the silly, stupid things that I may do, and how He constantly shows me His grace and mercy, it does come a bit easier.  I pray for patience in dealing with these kids that I love so much.  I know that it is primarily by example that they will learn what grace is.

And with that, I am so very thankful for all the little things that they do to bring joy to my heart.  I'm thankful for the witty and insightful view Jackson gives me on the world.  I'm thankful that, even at just barely four years old, he shows an interest in Christ.  I'm thankful for Madelyn's spunky personality, and the silly smile she gives me when she is pleased with something.  I'm thankful that she is so very loyal to her siblings---the love and adoration she shows for Jackson is pretty priceless.  I'm thankful for Owen's sweet and happy spirit.  No matter how tired or hungry he may be, he always has a smile to give.  I marvel at these precious gifts God has given me!  I pray that I remember how thankful I am for these children no matter the occasion---when Madelyn puts crayons in her pajama feet and they are melted all over several loads of clothes in the dryer---when Jackson refuses to eat his breakfast, lunch, or dinner (that happens often)--- or when Owen is wide awake at 11...1...3...5...  You get the idea!

Owen's Birth Story

  For those of you who are interested in how Owen made it into this world, here is the scoop!  During the first few days of April, I started feeling contractions.  I was almost 32 weeks, and suspected that this wasn't normal.  So, with that in mind, I headed to the Labor and Delivery floor at the hospital.  They hooked me up to the monitors which revealed that I was getting regular contractions (every few minutes).  After 6 hours, a shot, and a couple pills, the contractions halted enough for the doctor to send me home.  Due to the fact that I was getting contractions so early, I was put on a pill to stop the contractions every time they started and complete bedrest with "only trips to the bathroom."  I must admit that I had a moment when I sort of "freaked out" about the amount of help I would need with childcare, cleaning, and cooking.  Even though I have seen time and time again how God miraculously provides, I doubted Him for a moment (or two...).  He soon showed me how well He provides!  We were provided with nearly 6 weeks of meals, all the childcare we needed, and enough help with housework to keep my house in order for the 6 weeks I was on bedrest.  Troy and I are so very thankful for the tangible way Christ's love was shown to us through His people!

At 37 weeks pregnant, a day or two before Owen was born.

  Six weeks after being put on bedrest, I had a checkup with my doctor.  I had been uncontrollably itching for the last 5-6 weeks and complained about it for the third time.  I told him Benadryl did not work.  Scratching the itches, mainly on my legs, ankles, feet, arms, and back didn't help either.  In fact, I was itching my skin raw!  The doctor FINALLY decided to look at my file only to discover that the Liver Panel blood test I did six weeks before was "Slightly elevated."  I asked how high the numbers were and the doctor repeated that they were "slighted elevated."  I then asked what the exact numbers were.  I had the same problem with the previous pregnancy and I knew where my liver enzymes were supposed to be.  The doctor reluctantly showed me the numbers.  Perhaps this was because he made the mistake of not telling me before that they were high!  Liver Enzymes are supposed to be 30-40 at the most.  At the time of the blood test, my enzymes were up to 115!  He then decided that I had something called "Cholestasis" and brushed it off as the body just not getting rid of bile as fast due to pregnancy.  I already knew of this condition and knew that it was certainly more serious than that!  He opted for another Liver Panel blood test. 

The doctor called me a couple days later (on Friday, May 13th) and told me he needed to deliver the baby because my liver enzymes had gone up to 146.  I was not suprised.  He was going to schedule a C-section for that evening or the next day.  I decided the day before to stop taking the pill that was preventing me from going into labor.  Even with taking the pill, my contractions were becoming stronger and more regular.  So, by 1pm on Friday, May 13th, I was going into labor.  Of course, feeling contractions off and on for six weeks, I second-guessed myself and didn't think I needed go in yet.  By 4:30, we were packing up the car to head to the hospital.  By the time I got hooked up to the monitors at the hospital, I was dilated to 6 and my contractions were coming ever 2-3 minutes.  It happened VERY fast.  As I lay there in the hospital bed, the medical staff hurried to prep me for the c-section.  I very much regretted waiting that long to go into Labor and Delivery.  I was in pain, but I breathed through the contractions knowing that I would soon see my baby boy!  On Friday, May 13th at 8:30 on the dot, Owen was born.  He was unresponsive at first.  The medical staff in the operating room didn't tell Troy and I this, but we knew because we didn't hear him cry and I could hear the respiratory therapist slapping Owen's back vigorously to try and get the fluid out.  The said they got 10 (I'm assuming "CCs") of fluid out of his lungs, and finally, after what seemed like an eternity, we heard his cry!  Owen was born at a healthy 7lbs and 19 inches long.  I got to hold him a few hours later after being in the recovery room.  Even the third time around, there is nothing like finally getting to hold the child God grew inside your womb!  What a precious gift!

 

 

Mommy FAIL! -Ketchup-

Sometimes as a mom I do something really silly and I just have to laugh at myself. Otherwise, I'd get mad at myself and that isn't good. Today, I whipped up my kids some Mickey Mouse chicken nuggets only to find the ketchup missing. Everyone knows a toddler can't eat chicken nuggets without ketchup! So, I looked high and low, in the pantry and in the fridge, with no avail. Somehow in the midst of looking, I stuck my hand in my hot cup of tea (ouch!) and splashed it all over my new tank top. After I washed off my shirt and hung it to dry, I gave up and decided to just open a new ketchup bottle. As I grabbed the new bottle, it slipped out of my hand and broke on the kitchen floor! And, guess what? I opened the fridge just after that fiasco and found...yes...the ketchup. Sigh. Now you see why I had to laugh at myself!

Madelyn @ 1 Year: Happy Birthday, Madelyn!

A year (and a week) ago, on August 26th, 2009, at 9:38am, I met Madelyn Sue for the very first time. She came a little early with the "help" of HEELP syndrome. At 7 pounds, 2 ounces and about 20 inches long, she had long, skinny legs and fingers. Her lips were perfectly shaped and she had a cute, little nose. I remember the first time I saw her little precious face. I could barely lift my hand because it was numb, but I managed to rub my finger across her soft head. After hearing her delicate heartbeat slow dramatically down a few minutes before, tears streamed down my face at the sight of this precious gift from God, even if this gift came via emergency C-section. The Lord was truly gracious to both of us that day.
A year later, Madelyn is now 20 pounds, 15 ounces and 26 1/2 inches tall. She is such a joy in our lives. She giggles and smiles and talks in her own language that somehow Troy and I, and even Jackson understand. Madleyn is walking now. She started walking the day before her birthday. Her hands wave in the air wildly and she smiles from ear to ear whenever she walks. Madelyn has a total of 4 teeth, and three are making their way through. Teething hasn't been easy for her, but, then again, who said teeth cutting through gums would be easy? Hyland's teething tablets take care of most of the pain, along with an occasional dose of infant's Acetaminophen.
Madelyn still has a lack of hair. As they say, good things come to those who wait. I hope that means she will have good hair. So far, the little hair that she does have is adorable. She has little curls at the back of her head! :)Madelyn absolutely adores her brother. Her face still lights up every time he enters the room. It still warms my heart every time I see that happen. They giggle and laugh together, and, when Madelyn allows it, they wrestle. Jackson told me today, "Mom, I'm so glad that Madelyn is walking!" He is really enjoying seeing her grow and accomplish things that he can do.
Madelyn also LOVES animals, especially kitties and doggies. "Kitty" was her first word, afterall! She gets so excited when an animal is around and shows a ton of interest in them. Cassie isn't sure what to do about this enthusiasm. Even though Madelyn is very gentle with her, Cassie would rather be left alone. This is why we decided to get a kitten (or two) for Madelyn's birthday. (More about that later!)
I don't know if I could say it enough---Madelyn is truly a joy to us. I can't kiss her little cheeks enough! My heart melts at every smile. Her bright blue eyes light up my days (as do Jackson's!). I can scarcely believe it has been a year since she came into this world. What a whirlwind of a year! I thank God for this darling little girl and I can't wait to see what this year of her life will bring. Although, seeing how fast this past year went, I will strive to cherish every milestone, every little moment, and every precious smile all the more!

I Needed the Quiet

****I came across this poem on a blog I read. It is such a good reminder of the need for quiet time with God.****

I Needed The Quiet

I needed the quiet so he drew me aside
Into the shadows where we could confide,
Away from the bustle where all the day long
I hurried and worried when active and strong.
I needed the quiet tho at first I rebelled,
But gently, so gently my cross he upheld,
And whispered so sweetly of spiritual things,
Tho weakened in body, my spirit took wings
To heights never heard of when active and gay,
He loved me so greatly he drew me away.
I needed the quiet, no prison my bed,
But a beautiful valley of blessings instead –
A place to grow richer in Jesus to hide
I needed the quiet so he drew me aside.

– Alice H. Mortenson

Ivy Mae is here!

Beautiful Ivy Mae arrived a little early, but very healthy, on Thursday, July 22nd at 1:05pm, weighing in at 7lbs, 5oz, and 19 inches long. You can read about Ivy's arrival on Robyn's Blog. Unfortunately, we didn't get to meet her for a whole week due to the fact that the we were all in Missouri! We talked to David and Robyn, and "met" Ivy via internet chat until we could meet sweet Ivy in person. It was so hard to wait that long to meet Ivy, but it was well worth the wait. I love the fact that I am an aunt now and love the fact that both my kids have a cousin! I will also enjoy having Robyn join me in the "journey" of motherhood! Here are some cute photos of our first few times seeing the precious addition to our family...CONGRATS, David and Robyn! Welcome to Parenthood! :)

Our video conference set-up to see Ivy.

Nana's first time holding Ivy! Well worth the wait!

Madelyn checks out her cousin for the first time. See just giggled. :)

Discovering her cousin Ivy!

Uncle for the first time!

Madelyn giggles and touches her baby cousin. Soon they will be having tea parties together!

Cousins!

Ivy's first time eating at The Backstreet!

Just Mess'n' Aound!

Jackson and Madelyn love each other. This is evident by the way both of their eyes light up when they see each other. Madelyn often stares at her big brother with an awful gaze (awful as in full of awe), and that gaze is usually followed by a big smile and a squeal of uncontainable joy. Jackson just giggles and starts to talk a language that apparently only him and Madelyn understand while making silly gestures to make his sister laugh. One of their favorite things to do is wrestle. Yes. Wrestle. This girl is going to be tough. Although, she does let Jackson know if he has gone too far or gotten too rough! I just love to see them interact. I can honestly say that it is one of the best perks of parenting---seeing your kids enjoy each other!

My Little Helper

Jackson loves to help with the dishes. I put on apron on him this time to prevent him from getting soaked. Not only did that work, but he looked really cute! :) I've found that I can complete some of the chores around the house I wouldn't normally get to, or chores that I would have to sit Jackson in front of the TV (GASP!) in order to get to, by simply including him. It usually takes longer than just doing it alone, but, hey, it gets done! And, we get to spend some extra time together. He also loves helping his mommy. I love that!

The Quotable Jackson

Jackson is a very affectionate little boy. He makes sure he tells me, "Mommy, I love you soooo much!" everyday, accompanied by a big hug and a kiss. No matter how many clever things this kids comes up with, I will always cherish that statement the most.

Mommy FAIL! - Sippy Cup-

I found this cup in the trunk of the car. It had found it's way underneath our emergency kit. My theory is, when you can't recognize what was in the cup, you should just throw it away!

Mommy FAIL! -Laundry-

I am totally copying this post from My Blessed Life (hope she doesn't mind!), but I love how it brings me to share a bit of "real life" in my home...a bit of honesty. So, I am sharing with you this week my "fail" that has plagued me lately because it has been happening so much...

I washed the same load of laundry three times this week. That's right...THREE TIMES! I always got distracted and with this warmer weather, well, it just went sour. Then, I dried the same load three times as well, because I kept forgetting about it, and my intention was to get out most of the wrinkles before I folded it. Sigh. I'm sure there will be a day when I can do a load of laundry without doing a million other things at the same time (i.e. changing a diaper, refilling a sippy cup, taking a toddler potty, cleaning up a spill, giving a little one a nap...). These things just remind me of my reliance on Christ, even in the little things like helping me remember my laundry. Yes. He cares even about that.*

*To listen to a WONDERFUL sermon that my pastor preached on that subject just this past week, CLICK HERE

What Does it Matter?

Often I find myself frustrated because I can never keep my kitchen clean. Or my laundry pile under control. Or organize the ever-growing piles of paperwork in the office. Or organize my time. Or organize anything for that matter. I find that most people will say the same things in response to my frustrations. First---that it will happen in time, and second, that it doesn't matter in the long run. But, what if it DOES matter to me? What if it stresses me out to see the kitchen a mess (and when I say a "mess" I mean it looks that a miniature tornado passed through the kitchen and destroyed everything in its path.) It does matter to me when my husband looks in his empty underwear drawer and asks if he has any underwear to wear...I had no idea he was even out because I'm not that organized. It does matter to me to be organized....I want to be organized so we don't loose important tax papers or my keys---including a very expensive automatic key for our Camry (both of which happened this week). It matters to me because when life is chaotic, I FEEL it, like a weight on my shoulders. It makes me weary. I suppose it is okay to fail at things and in the long run, it may not matter that much. But, I think it is okay to conclude that my life, and my family's life would be a whole lot better, that is, it would run a whole lot smoother if I was more organized. Perhaps I should go visit Flylady.net, like several have suggested. I've looked at the site before. Maybe I will get inspired once more. I guess I am learning to show myself some grace. I do have a toddler and an infant. My attention is constantly on taking care of them. As my mom reminded me the other day, they are my MINISTRY. I'm just thankful that even when I lack the ability to show myself grace, God continues to show me His grace.

Oh, Anxiety!

Photo Credit

I am in the habit of being anxious lately. I'm anxious about getting organized because if we organized our time better, I wouldn't be anxious about getting ready for church on time, not having Troy's shirts ironed, not having time to clip coupons before I go grocery shopping, not having time to exercise....anxious about the yard looking terrible after the rain...anxious about making the family's dental appointments...anxious about eating more fruits and veggies...feeding Jackson more fruits and veggies...anxious about getting Madelyn on a nap schedule...or wondering if there is such a thing for her...anxious about....

Well. You get the picture, right? I would say that lately anxiety has ruled most of my life. A million thoughts are going through my mind at any given moment and there seems to be no stopping them. Quick prayers, sometimes outloud in somewhat of a desperate plea for help, are said, but I still am anxious. Then, while catching up on my Bible reading this morning---and I must admit, I felt some anxiety about that too--- I came across this passage. Even though I have read it several times before, the simple advice resounds so fresh and new to me in this moment. I will leave you with the passage because it says everything...

Matthew 6:25-34
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

Amen.