It has been exactly 5 years since Troy first told me that he loved me. I recently found an excerpt from my journal about how much I loved him, written a few weeks before we actually told each other, "I love you." It reads:
...There are so many things I love about him and I am going to attempt to list some of them. I love the way he holds me in his arms. I love the way he prays almost every time we say goodbye. He prays that above all, our relationship would glorify God. I love the way he calls me beautiful. I love the way he looks into my eyes as if nothing else exists at that moment. I love the way he desires to learn more about God. I love the way he puts his arm around me every chance he gets. I love the way we both can talk about our faults. I love him. I think I seriously do. And I think he loves me.
Reading this little bit out of my journal reminded me of how good it felt to be newly in love. The romance of it all is incredible, isn't it? It also was a challenge for me to cherish those same things about Troy---to not take them for granted. It may be five years and two kids later, but that love is still there, and it is stronger than the day we first said "I love you." I have to admit, though, I sometimes forget how nice it is to ALWAYS be able to hold Troy's hand in public, or for him to always be able to have his arms around me. That isn't possible, for the most part, with two kids in tow. I want to remember to take every opportunity I can to hold his hand or put my arm around him, even if it is just while sitting on the couch watching TV, or for a moment before we get the kids out of the car.
I will also admit that I think I can get into a rut of saying "I love you." I will say it, and I mean it, but I may not think about it because saying that to Troy now comes so naturally. So, tonight, when Troy gets home from work, I am going to look him in the eyes, like nothing else exists ---no kids, no chores, no to-do list, just him and I---just for a moment, and tell him wholeheartedly that I love him.