Monday, June 9, 2008

I've had better days...

Here is how today went down. I woke up and nursed Jackson as usual. I still had a bit of that stomach ache that started on Saturday, but it seemed as though this stomach ache was often present lately. I ignored it for the most part. It isn't unusual to have a reoccurring stomach ache for several months, is it? By the time I carried Jackson from the nursery to the couch in the living room, the sharp pain set it. This was to be expected. This sharp pain would occur after 2-3 days of a bad stomach ache for months now. And nothing seemed unusual to me...hmmm. This time, though, the pain was extremely severe.

I decided to go to bed and put Jackson down for a nap with me. Jackson fell asleep, but I couldn't. This sharp pain hurt really, really bad and the positions that usually help just were not working. Perhaps there was something unusual about this pain. I lifted up my shirt to look at the area that was hurting. Hmmm. I could no longer see my belly button. That WAS unusual. I wondered if this golf-ball-sized lump that took the place of my navel was a hernia. I proceeded to look it up on the internet. Yup. Sure sounded like a hernia. I made a doctor's appointment. The pain was severe. I couldn't stand it anymore. I was going to vomit if it got any worse. Seriously. Me + Severe Pain = Vomit. Jackson woke up. I couldn't bare to carry him. It hurt too much. I sat him slowly on the ground and sat next to him. I started to cry. He got worried and started to try to climb on me and wanted me to hold him. It hurt too much. I got more upset and called Troy. I couldn't wait any longer to go to the Doctor. Forget the appointment! It was time for Urgent Care (which, by the way, isn't always so "urgent").

David and my mother -in-law came to watch Jackson and Troy took me to Urgent Care. It turned out that I do have a hernia. The P.A. pushed the lump back in (O-U-C-H!!!!) and continued to tell me about the hernia. This one is called an Umbilical Hernia. Lovely. Apparently, it was probably caused by pregnancy. My abdominal wall was weakened and never quite healed. The exercising, carrying Jackson and his carrier, and lugging 5 bags of groceries on each arm from the car to the apartment probably didn't help at all, either. I'm not sure if there is ever a good time for a hernia, but this certainly is not a good time! I am waiting for my surgery to get scheduled.

Most likely, the surgery will be laparoscopic. Until the surgery, I can't lift, pull, or push anything over 5 pounds. This means I can't pick up or carry Jackson at all. This is a HUGE challenge for me! I have people coming over for the first week so I won't be alone with him at all, so that is good. But, emotionally this is very hard for me. I can't pick up my boy! He doesn't understand that, either!

Please pray that I can turn to Christ in those times I feel I am going to get teary-eyed because I want to hold my boy. Please pray that I can heal quickly and that the surgery will be scheduled promptly. I may be out of commission for several weeks (that includes the time before and after the surgery). This will be hard for me. Sanctifying, but very hard. I will update you all when I get my surgery date. Oh, yeah, and I give any of you permission to force me to the doctor the next time I have chronic pain for several months!

1 comment:

Life with Littles said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. Both Grace and Jackson have umbilical hernias. Grace had surgery at 1 but it looks like Jackson won't need it.

I know this must be really hard for you.I have days where I can't take care of the kids because I am flat on my back and those days are soooo hard. But those days are also times to grow. I will pray for your patience and your emotions. Remember that you are blessing others by letting them help you.